When I see girl bestfriends post messages for each other in facebook or post pictures on what they did during the weekend, I get a little jealous that I don't have one (or so I think). It would be nice to have someone to be silly and crazy with even when you're already married and with kids.
I think my husband is tired of hearing me say that I envy that he has friends, and I don't. So emo. I know. I can't help but feel it though. I normally spend my days and nights just here at home.
I have friends, yeah, but friends I see once every 6 months probably. Not someone who knows my every day problems. I don't really blame them, I kind of find ways to push them away. I feel I have problems with intimacy(?) or showing affections(?). Sometimes I just want to be alone, and I unconsciously push my friends away. I think I should do my part in saving and keeping a friendship more.
A college friend called me tonight (one of my bestfriends actually). She's in another country now. I miss her, and I wish she lived closer here. In fact years back, when she was still here in the Philippines, she didn't live near my house. But out of all my friends, she was/is the one who stuck with me. We don't spend everyday together. We don't hang out. We actually just call each other when we're at our lowest. But it still feels good that when we're down, we still have each other to lean on.
But I still miss having friends that you can call to come over anytime.
So emo today. Til the next post..